I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
