ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Houston, we have a blender
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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