do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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