I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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