ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
