Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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