i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
