Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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