Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
