May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
