that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize