Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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