Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
