Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
