which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
