i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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