I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
