Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
