I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it glows. i had to have it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
