Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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