I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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