I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize