True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
