maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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