I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I deserve this hangover.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
