he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
