grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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