he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just had sex on a roof
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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