It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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