I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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