OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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