Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
