I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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