i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
