I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
