i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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