I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
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so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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