i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you