I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.