I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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