Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
