but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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