i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
