the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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