i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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