i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My bed smells like the plague
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