I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
