So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
