lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
