i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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