you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
