Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
