I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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