yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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