I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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