Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
