he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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