The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
How's work?
Spinning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize