I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im holly from the hills drunk
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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