you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
