Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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