he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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