I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
