I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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