Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
