I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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