yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
