College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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