how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
two words...techno handjob
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
