We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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