i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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